May242013

mew-squared:

  • In 2009, a man married a video game character
  • In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel Tower
  • In 2008, a man married a life-sized doll
  • Also in 2009, a woman married a roller coaster
  • And in 2005, a woman married a dolphin

please explain to me why people still say that gays shouldnt be able to be married to preserve the sanctity of marraige

(via karkatinkarnate)

8PM

I’m imminently to cross the threshold to the mystifyingly exquisite environment acknowledged far and wide as the irrevocably challenging habit entirely recognized to unmerciful murders, lackadaisical betrayers, insolent bastards, and substantially extravagant facades of scandalous accusations.

I’m the new one. The freshest of installments. What she never anticipated would materialize in her territory.

Where does this tragic tale of a authentic martyr begin you ask? The most exceptional addition to a local which in itself neglects the frivolous intelligence I seek vehemently to teach. I’m the wayward patronizing future of a new Alternia and I consistently find that notion pleasing…

But she found me. Discovered my deplorable existence futile, I did.

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATION ALGORITHM HAS ACHIEVED SENTIENCE AND BEGUN POSTING FANFICTION RUN FOR YOUR LIVES (via vastderp)

(via jumpingjacktrash)

3PM
hiddle-stoned:

life-more-abundantly:

denyselfandfollowchrist:

spadeoface:

he looks like one of the italian people pushing one of those boats



#DEAD

You don’t even understand, there are actual tears.

hiddle-stoned:

life-more-abundantly:

denyselfandfollowchrist:

spadeoface:

he looks like one of the italian people pushing one of those boats

image


#DEAD

You don’t even understand, there are actual tears.

(Source: iseeincolor91, via perpetualvelocity)

3PM
striderhibiki:

brotherentropy:

steampoweredrocket:

gyodragon:

Cubone + Hitmonchani just had to draw this guy!!

This is literally one of he best character designs I’ve ever seen.

holy shit

Suddenly I care about Pokemon mashups.

striderhibiki:

brotherentropy:

steampoweredrocket:

gyodragon:

Cubone + Hitmonchan

i just had to draw this guy!!

This is literally one of he best character designs I’ve ever seen.

holy shit

Suddenly I care about Pokemon mashups.

(via theravensquill)

3PM
perpetualvelocity:

siins:

jupitersparkle:

So I said to my little sister, “Did you know that if you click ‘Join Tumblr’ on someone’s blog, it picks a random recent post as the background?” So we tried it on mine, and it ended up picking Siins’ picture that I reblogged the other day.
Lemme tell you that is the most badass login page I’ve ever seen.

oh dang that does look rad! haha

wooaahhh

perpetualvelocity:

siins:

jupitersparkle:

So I said to my little sister, “Did you know that if you click ‘Join Tumblr’ on someone’s blog, it picks a random recent post as the background?” So we tried it on mine, and it ended up picking Siins’ picture that I reblogged the other day.

Lemme tell you that is the most badass login page I’ve ever seen.

oh dang that does look rad! haha

wooaahhh

3PM

castiel-is-wonderful:

sionainnlindsay:

castiel-is-wonderful:

WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP

IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S 

LIKE BELONGING TO MR

OMG

Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.

This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me 

(via theravensquill)

3PM
spoondancer:

stillcantbeleiveitsnotbutter:

emkaymlp:


Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.
“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,” said police investigator Evan Delp.
Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: “Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”
Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.
The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. “The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,” Detective Delp told reporters. “Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. “When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ‘cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,”’ recalled the retired library worker. ” And I wasn’t scared of them, either - because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shooting’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”
So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighbourhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.
“I knew it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…
“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”
Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. “What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,” Det. Delp said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”

is this a tarantino movie because it really should be

Wow.She’s got some balls

Those guys don’t anymore, though. 

spoondancer:

stillcantbeleiveitsnotbutter:

emkaymlp:

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.

“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,” said police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: “Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”

Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. “The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,” Detective Delp told reporters. “Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. “When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ‘cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,”’ recalled the retired library worker. ” And I wasn’t scared of them, either - because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shooting’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”

So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighbourhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

“I knew it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…

“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. “What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,” Det. Delp said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”

is this a tarantino movie because it really should be

Wow.
She’s got some balls

Those guys don’t anymore, though. 

(Source: creativehypocrisy, via theravensquill)

2PM
“My second grade teacher liked to ask us,
“How do you feel today, on a scale of one to ten?”
Ten always meant I’m super, thank you
and one was always not today, Mrs. MacAuley, not today.
But I never liked numbers, they would always
twist and rebel against my mind so I chose
to speak in colors instead.

January third - I am the color
of mint chocolate chip ice cream
but I’ve eaten all the chocolate chips.
I am calm.

February seventh - I am a bruise of
blues and violets today. I think it would
be best if I sat by the window.
These are unhappy colors.

April eleventh - I am turquoise, I am magenta,
I am every color in the rainbow.

April thirtieth - I am gray, I am silent.

May first - I am orange, the color of melting
creamsicles on a beach in July.

June twelfth - I am as yellow as the school bus
that will bring me home to summer. I am free.

Twelve years later, I still use colors.
The winter makes me feel cobalt blue, the ocean
turns me a seafoam green. Violets and purples
leave me uneasy and scarlet is a fever of fury.
Some nights I drown in shades of navy, denim,
and cornflower but other nights I meditate in forests of
harlequin and shamrock.

But you,
you leave me a blinding white followed by a soft yellow:
the color of sunlight after a period of darkness.” Kelsey Danielle, “A Diary of Colors” (via petrichour)

(via dirkstrdr)

1PM
1PM
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